Reagan Ticker

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Friday, September 3, 2010

More Surgery. :'(

I have been working on a post about the beach but this one I really need to write.  Some times it helps me process things better after I write (or type in this case) stuff down.  It looks like I am going to have to have ANOTHER surgery on Wed. next week.  They just can't get my retina to stay on like it should.  With all the surgeries I've had it has created a bunch of scar tissue and keeps pulling the retina up.  My last option is for them to go in and remove some tissue and put a band around my eye to compress it.  Its a 4 hour surgery and according to my doc its a painful recovery.  You can read about it HERE if you would like to.  That is why they do all the other surgeries first b/c they aren't as painful.  I was supposed to go back to work on Tuesday but now I can't.  I'm really bummed about it.  I had all my work clothes pulled out and took some to the cleaners.  I really want to go back to work and now this.  I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mommy.  I love being here with Reagan and spending as much time with her as I can but I'm made to have a career.  I really don't want to have another surgery either.  This will be my 7th total.  Eventually, I'm going to have my own filing cabinet at The Eye Foundation!  I should just start writing my checks directly to Dr. Mason.  I hope he gets a beach house or something from all the surgeries he's done on me. 

Thankfully, work is going to let me be off another week.  Dr. Mason said I could go back on the following Monday.  I don't get paid or anything but that is fine.  As long as I have a job I'm good.  I just really hope this time works.  If not, I'm not sure what the next step is.  I'm pretty sure I'll loose sight in it all together.  Dr. mason said that was a good chance that by the time I'm 40 I'll loose it anyway.  It really sucks but at least I have one good eye to see Reagan grow up with.  I'm just having a hard time with this one.  The last one bothered me too but this one seems worse.  I guess just because I'm ready to be finished.  I'm tired of it.  I just wish he could fix it and i could see again but that isn't going to happen.  It really just makes me thankful I don't have any other health issues.  I just hope this other eye stays strong.  I don't know what I will do if something happens to it.  Please keep me in your prayers.  This one is going to be rough but I have to put it in God's hands.  I have to let him handle it.  Please Lord stay by my side and help me through this!


Laura said...

I hope everything goes really well tomorrow!! We miss you at work!!

Alicia said...

Thanks! I miss yall too! Hopefully I will be able to come back on Monday!